He’s Just Not that Into You Author at Oprah

Posted by Saucy Sexy on October 4th, 2005 filed in Mixing Sexes |

Greg Behrendt, former Sex and the City writer and bestselling author, was invited back as a guest at the Oprah show after the highly successful “He’s Just Not that Into You” episode. This time around, Oprah tried to cram in as many situations as she could into the show, so that Greg could drive in the liberating 6-word statement.

I was able to catch that particular episode on Star World, and below is a summary of the different situations, which somehow all met the criteria for Greg to declare “He’s just not that into you,” and variations thereof. Most of the aspects of these accounts are so universal it’s almost eerie. (For anonymity, I’m going to refer to the ladies as A, B, C, etc.)

The Ex-Fiancé Boyfriend A was engaged when her fiancé decided to break it off with her on their wedding day. Despite her devastation, she still agreed to meet with her ex-fiancé, not to reconcile, but as an attempt to become friends. After several of these friendly meetings, they inevitably had sex, and according to A, made her ex-fiancé question his decision, but after a certain period, still did not push him to do any concrete action.

Is the ex-fiancé into her?

Greg’s Verdict The ex-fiancé already affirmed that “He’s just not that into you,” when he broke off the marriage. He probably met with her out of guilt and the inevitable make-up sex, but it’s just sex. Move on.

The Noncommittal Boyfriend B and her “boyfriend” spend at least 3 times a week together and yet after two months of this, he still introduced her to his friends without the epithet of girlfriend. B wanted to know the real deal so she could know whether she’s a “girlfriend” or “friend.”

Greg’s Verdict Obviously, it mattered to B whether she was a girlfriend or not, otherwise, she wouldn’t even be wondering. The mere fact that she had to ask was already an indicator that “He’s just not that into you,” because if it mattered to him, he would have said something earlier.

And, upon learning that they had sex almost immediately after they met made Greg give this piece of advice. Make the guy wait for the sex so that he could get to know her better as a person. Besides, he’s going to keep coming back day after day if he was really into her.

The Secretive Boyfriend An off shoot of the situation described above, but a tad worse, this time C is not introduced at all to any of her boyfriend’s friends or relatives. None of them know of her relationship with him (even I know the answer to this one).

Greg’s Verdict “HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU.” What’s nice about Greg was he always emphasized how all the ladies were attractive and how they shouldn’t be wasting their time on these men who don’t appreciate them.

The On and Off Again Boyfriend For three years, D has endured being with her indecisive boyfriend, who would hook up with other women when they’re not together. But she always consoled herself with the fact that he always comes back to her.

Greg’s Verdict He’s comfortable with her, that’s why he kept coming back, but he’s just not that into you.

The Live In Boyfriend After 5 years of living in, she’s ready to get married, but he’s saying he needs more time to be sure. She fears that having been given everything that he needed, from cooking and doing his laundry for him, has already spoiled him in the sense that why would he want to get married when he has the “cow” already?

He did give her an engagement ring but she refuses to wear it because she felt that he only gave it to her in order to appease her.

Greg’s Verdict Obviously, he’s just not that into you. The fact is she wants to get married, and he doesn’t . Why waste your time on someone who doesn’t want to get married to you?

A lot of these situations sound very familiar, and it needs a certain amount of courage to attempt to decipher whether your guy is into you or not. That’s what girlfriends are for. Under the assumption that your gal pals love you, and you’re ready to hear their opinions, then ask them what they think. If you can’t face the truth yet, then you’ll most probably stay in the relationship. But remember, to paraphrase Greg, a new guy can only come in your life if the old one is out.

For even more tips from Greg–How to Know if He’s into You

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