Absurd Encounters with Men’s Penises

Posted by Saucy Sexy on July 11th, 2005 filed in Saucy Sexy Stuff |

The Unexpected Encounter

Another encounter I had was when a girlfriend requested that I met with her, and since she sounded really agitated, where the probability of her breaking down into sobs seemed imminent, and therefore, privacy seemed prudent, I suggested staying in the car and parking in a mall’s open parking space where it seemed quiet and safe.

As my girlfriend told her emotional tale of how she was pregnant, how her boyfriend wants her to have an abortion, and how she wants to have the baby and how she doesn’t have a source of income, she suddenly stopped and said instead, “Let’s get out of here.”

Curious, I looked at the direction she was staring. Right in front of the car was a man with his head thrown back as he furiously masturbated for his totally unaware audience. Apparently, he thought that since we were not moving the car, we were enjoying his performance, when the truth of the matter was we were so engrossed in the gravity of our conversation that we didn’t even notice him.

Once again, as the sheer absurdity of the situation roiled in my head, I couldn’t help but laugh out loud, which the man apparently heard, and presumed incorrectly as encouragement, and so, started to walk towards my side of the car, a fact that made my girlfriend urgently raise her voice and repeat that we should get out of there.

Decision Frame:

Fact #1- We were inside the safety of the car. So unless we opened the car doors or windows, he can’t do anything really.

Fact #2- Between him and us, he was in more danger because I could easily ram him with the car.

Fact #3- Nothing can change the fact that his performance was totally wasted on us because we weren’t even aware of him until a few moments ago, making him seem very small and pathetic.

Decision: Turn on the car and leave him.

As I started the car, the headlights bathed him in its beams, and his rounded baby features struck me, and it occurred to me how if I had passed him by in the mall or street, I would never have imagined his secret fetish.

On his end, being partially blinded by the glaring lights and standing at the head of the car seemed to have brought him back to reality.

Thinking that I was going to run him over, he brought his hands up in front of him in a placating manner and he called out repeatedly, “It’s okay.”

Again, I was amazed at how well modulated and educated his speaking voice was, something very difficult to hide in an unsettling situation such as this.

And it also goes to show that exhibitionists are a democratic lot. They come from all social classes, and in all shapes and sizes.

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