Dear SaucySexy — My Ex Wants to Get Back with Me

Posted by Saucy Sexy on May 11th, 2008 filed in Mixing Sexes |

The Guy Whose Girlfriend Broke Up With Him
My ex and I have been together for several years, and then she breaks up with me. A few days later, she texts me that she wants to get back together. I didn’t reply, and now she sends me numerous texts, and calls me several times during the day. I have never texted back or answered her calls. Should I arrange to meet with her?

SaucySexy’s Response
Not Interested Anymore?
I think it’s very interesting that you didn’t respond to her overtures to get back with you. Is it because you’re not interested anymore? Do you feel that you’ve reached that point where nothing she can do or say can make you get back with her? If yes, then your silence is answer enough to her question. It’s a definite no.

Just be patient with the texts and calls then, for it’s natural for someone to go through a “letting go” process. If the texts and calls really disturb you, then you can block her number, or change your number altogether. Otherwise, just be compassionate and patient. Generally in these situations, the texts and calls will diminish with time.

Is There Still Love?
Or, do you still feel something for her? Are you considering getting back with her? Can you identify the reasons for yourself why you want her back in your life? Are you willing to take the chance that she may let you go again?

Can your love overlook the fact that she broke up with you? Is there a possibility that you might want to get back with her so that you can have the opportunity to “punish” her? Is your refusal to answer her calls and texts a way to “punish” her for dumping you?

How did you feel when she broke up with you? Were you numb, shocked, relieved, happy, bothered, hurt, depressed? Maybe you can gauge your feelings by deciphering your reactions.

What do you hope to accomplish by meeting with her? Are you doing it just to be polite? Is there a part of you that wants to see her apologetic and humbled? Or do you want to hear what she wants to say so you can decide what to do next?

My opinion is you should only agree to talk with her if you want to work out the conditions under which you will get back together. Why meet just to tell her that you don’t want to get back together? If you think that one ‘No, thank you (a nicer version, of course)’ text from you will provide closure for her and appease her to the point that she’ll stop communications with you, then maybe. But remember, although she was proactive enough to ask the question, you’re already answering her with your resounding silence.

What’s Your Decision?
As I mentioned earlier, I find it very interesting that you didn’t jump at the first chance to get back with her. I think you’ve already made a decision, whether you know it consciously or not.

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